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 " I started getting those little negative voices in my head saying things like: “why are you doing this?" |
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Kiza Francis National Capital Marathon, May 2004
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Kiza’s First Marathon (42.2 km or 26.1 miles) National Capital Marathon 2004 Bib # 1565 Finish Time: 4:34:58 I’m going to start the report with a quote provided to my by one of my clinic instructors/group leader/pace bunny (Cathy): “There is the truth about the marathon and very few of you have written the truth. Even if I explain to you, you'll never understand it, you're outside of it. “ Douglas Wakiihuri speaking to journalists I can relate to this statement 100% now…in fact, on one of our training runs Cathy said “there is something that happens after 32 km that you just can’t describe.” That stuck with me, and I can now say that I agree with her completely. The first half of the race was wonderful, I ran with Cathy (who was the “4:30 pace bunny”), Allison and Patti, three women that I had trained with for the last 18 weeks. We were about 3 minutes “ahead of schedule” at the halfway mark and feeling great! The highlight of the first half was probably at about 11 km, when we looked to our right and saw a real rabbit (not a pace bunny) sitting on the grass watching the runners go by! We were chatting the whole first half, and we carried the “4:30” sign with us, passing it around from person to person. We ran through downtown with smiles on our faces and waved at the crowds. I was thinking “wow, I can do another one of these, no problem!” We were running at about a 6:20/km pace…and felt great! The second half of the race was a different story. At 25 km, (right at about the time we ditched the “4:30” sign) I started getting those little negative voices in my head saying things like: “why are you doing this?”, “wow, this is starting to hurt!”, “do you really think you can continue at this pace?”, “why is everyone else so happy?” et c. Well, looking back, that was about the time that I became pretty quiet, and was just running and looking forward to the next walk break (we were doing “10 and 1’s” (10 minute run, 1 minute walk – the way we train/run!)). I didn’t want to voice any negative thoughts, as I felt like I would be bringing down the other women that I was running with. So, I trudged on. As we were nearing hog’s back (at about 29 km), I asked Cathy how long until the next walk break. (A sure sign of fatigue!). Once we were up the hill at hog’s back, and the 30 km banner was in view, I asked Allison to tell Cathy that I was “dropping back for a bit.” Allison (bless her heart) asked me if I wanted her to drop back with me for a bit. I declined, as, I knew that the “bit” was going to last until the end of the race. I couldn’t bring myself to tell Cathy, mostly because I was worried someone might try to motivate me to continue at that speed – which I knew was impossible at that point. The 4:30 bunny and the crowd around her went ahead, and I slowed it down a bit. I gathered my thoughts, and realized that I had 12 km ahead of me, and that this was now my race that I had to finish on my own. I also realized that the more I ran, the sooner I would be finished. I was at this point 3 minutes ahead of coming in at 4:30 (assuming I kept up my pace, which, I knew wasn’t going to happen.) I dropped back to doing “9 and 2’s” since it was the only math that I could handle at the time. I did the Vincent Massey Parking Lot (which was twice as long as I remembered it to be from last year!), and came out onto the Heron Bridge/Hill. I started to walk up it, and realized it would take me forever to walk it, and just started running again. I managed to continue running until my walk break, which really surprised me! When it was time to run again, I just told myself that the more I ran, the sooner I would be finished. It’s hard to describe how I was feeling at this point. I was at the corner of Prince of Wales and Heron Road, and had no idea how I was going to make it back downtown. I started calculating how long it would take me if I just walked it. I realized that if I did that, my fiancé Doug (who was doing the half marathon and had started 3 hours after me) would end up catching me, and he would have a hard time passing me. I decided that it wasn’t up to me to ruin his race…so, I started running again. By about 8 minutes into each 9 minute run, I was feeling very sick to my stomach, but, I endured an extra minute (which brought me closer to downtown!) until my walk break. On one of my training runs, Cathy told me that at that particular spot she was going to turn to me and tell me that I was looking strong. Although she was ahead of me at that point, I remembered those words, and raised my head, and tried to run a little faster. Then, my “favourite” (read: sarcasm) part of the race – I took a suck on the tube to my water pack and sucked air. Not only was a dead tired, but I was out of water! Luckily, I knew there was a water station up ahead, and, I could make it to there, at least. Then, I could stop and have some water and some Gatorade, maybe that would help too! At this point, I was running behind someone who had the following pinned to his shirt: “I run, therefore, I write – www.canadianmarathonstories.ca” Hmm….I was thinking…if I finish this, I betcha I could write about it! I was pretty amazed that my kilometre splits had only slowed down to about 7:15/km, which wasn’t much slower than my training times…considering that I felt that it was taking me about an hour per kilometre! As I came into the Arboretum loop, I saw Cathy, Allison and Patti coming out…which surprised me, as the loop is less than a kilometre, which meant that they really hadn’t gotten that far ahead of me! (At this point, I felt like I wasn’t moving forward – at all.) I did the loop, saw some friendly faces at the Running Room water station, and continued running my “9 and 2’s.” I was counting down the kilometres now…only 7 to go! I could do 7 kilometres, I do that all the time….it shouldn’t be a problem! As I was on the far side of Dow’s Lake, my knee brace started bugging me again (it had bugged me a bit during the first half, but, I had adjusted it to a perfect fit), so, I sat down on the curb to fix it. Then, I realized: I WAS SITTING DOWN!! HOW AM I GOING TO GET BACK UP????? Well, I told myself, if I don’t get back up, I won’t make it downtown…but….I have to make it downtown! I got myself up, and continued with the 9 and 2’s…..trudged along. I started looking for people on the side of the route that I knew….and for people holding signs that could encourage me. I even started believing the people saying “looking good!” (Haha….I’m sure I looked horrible!).
I had a walk break just before “Mount
Pretoria” – the little incline up to the bridge, and read a sign that said
“Dig Deep – you are almost there.” I told the girl holding it that it was
a wonderful sign, and I really needed that! I ran past Pretoria, into the
1.5 km home stretch. I looked up and to my wonderful surprise, saw one of
my training buddies Wendy holding a sign that said “Kiza you KAN do it!”
Ahh…bless her heart….I really could do it!! I told myself to run the rest
of the way…but, had to walk a little bit before the last corner. (Didn’t
want to walk on the last straight stretch!).
I saw the medic’s putting someone in a
wheelchair, and, I thought “how come they get a wheelchair? I want a
wheelchair too!” Again, I realized my silliness, walked over to get a
blanket, and TWO bottles of water (even though they only wanted to give me
one!). Then I put my foot up (yes, I managed to raise it), to have the
timing chip cut off, and walked over to the girls handing out the medals.
The volunteer tried to hand it to me, but, I politely asked her to hang it
around my neck, as I deserved it around my neck – I had just run a
marathon!!!
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